Studies have shown that more than half of relationships end due to financial issues. Yes people say money can’t buy love, but it definitely has an impact on relationships. You are most likely to meet different kinds of people on an online dating site. Some find money a necessity while others may not pay as much attention to finances. But no matter what the person thinks, money will impact you one way or another.
Why couples break up over money
So, finances are not a topic that couples, especially those that just met on a dating site should avoid. If you do, it can be the reason your relationship ends. Usually, arguments about money have a strong link with personal values or emotions. What your partner says may be a sign of what he or she thinks, which makes it important. At the end of the day, an argument about money is not just about money. So, what are the main reasons as to why couples break up in relation to money?
- Trust issues – many couples are not truthful about much they spend. Leaving out such an important detail can make it difficult to gain trust in general. Hiding the truth about money means the person is probably lying about other things as well.
- Having power – earning more than the person you are dating can give you power. It doesn’t matter if you feel it or not. Subconsciously the person earning more feels more powerful. This can make one to act in a dominating way especially if he or she is the primary provider. Feelings of hate or hurt can also develop in the other spouse who may feel down or inadequate.
- Debt and bills – knowing that you have a lot of debt is an overwhelming feeling. Imagine dealing with debt with your partner. It just increases the amount of stress that you’ve accumulated can be debilitating to an emotional level. It can make couples communicate less with each other as both parties are more focused on dealing with debt. In the long run, it can cause your relationship to deteriorate.
- Equality – problems may arise because of differences in spending. If one spouse spends more than it may put pressure on the relationship. This is true especially when funds are limited. This pressure to constantly make more money just to meet the needs of a partner can be the root of arguments and eventual breakup.
How to Solve Money Problems In a Relationship
Your relationship is more important than money. Money should not be the cause of your breakup. So how do you avoid breaking up because of money:
Talk about it – from the time you find singles on an online dating service to when you start a serious relationship, communication is vital. Just like any other issue that may affect a relationship, issues about money should be about with your spouse. If the problem is bills, you can sit down and discuss the best way to pay debt one couple is spending more than they should, talking about it can lead to a compromise which both parties agree with. There are some general things you should know when it comes to conversations about money. First, you should avoid using accusative terms as it will make the conversation become an argument. Do not make the other person feel guilty. Remember that you are trying to find a solution, not point fingers to who is wrong.
Be understanding – you and your spouse are different people, raised in different places and with different values. Yes, you may have similar values but that doesn’t mean everything is the same. The spending habits of one spouse may be a direct result of how he or she was raised. So instead of being harsh, try to understand him or her. When you find a woman or man on a dating site, you should always talk about money. This helps you to avoid future conflicts.
Compromise – you may not agree with what your partner thinks when it comes to money. But you both have to reach a common ground. So you should be willing to compromise so that both of you can be happy. Talking helps you to deal with the differences that you have so that you can reach a conclusion which both people are satisfied with. Before starting any conversation about money, you should always be open minded so you can resolve your differences.
No secrets – without trust, a relationship is doomed right from the beginning. To increase room for happiness and growth, couples should always be honest especially when it comes to money. Speak honestly about how much you spend. This may be difficult at first but once you make it a habit it gets easier. That’s why talking about your finances on a regular basis is important.